we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
