The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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