Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
