Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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