Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
