Small penises have feelings too.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
