we have officially lost it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
