You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
