is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
