So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
