I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
