It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
