Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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