I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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