1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
