I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
