You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
