You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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