I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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