I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
