My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
