Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
