we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
he had hair everywhere except his balls
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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