like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
