Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
