he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize