Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
