just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
