So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
