oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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