I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
