The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
