just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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