it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
