its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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