are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
false alarm, still single
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