Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize