do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
