I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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