jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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