If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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