His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
