I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
