We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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