I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
