Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
