I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
