My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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