careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
