oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
