spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
And the cops told us we were all naked.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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