That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
