i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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