I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize