mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
