You can't special order awesome
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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