id be glad to
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize