I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
