He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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