i don't like sucking hair
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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