idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
