what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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