It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize