there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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