Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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