I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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