Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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