I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
